The FAQ's

Monday, 2 June 2014

For those of you not on Instagram


When one announces they're pregnant, it's inevitable that the questions and the comments start coming whether you are ready for them or not.  I remember when we found out at 5 weeks, I couldn't fathom waiting until 12 weeks to spill the beans.  We told our immediate families and a couple of my closest girlfriends over the next few weeks but as we entered the safe zone, something about doing a big attention grabbing announcement didn't feel comfortable.  Of course, we wanted to share the news but the thought of creating a lot of fuss and the subsequent bombardment of questions wasn't attractive to me.  Instead, we slowly told people as we talked to them, one by one (or let our parents spread the news as they had been bursting at the seams.)

Our situation is perhaps a bit more unique which creates a lot of curiosity about how everything is going to happen.  As I continue in this latter half of pregnancy, I might do a few posts about having a baby abroad and specifically in Norway.  Pre-baby, I always thought it was interesting - women do this in every city and in every country around the world and while the result is the same, the process varies.

But, for now, to answer the general questions you might be wondering...

How are you feeling?

Much, much better, thank you.  The first trimester was miserable.  I knew that there was a good chance that I wouldn't be feeling up to par.  I was not prepared to feel completely unlike myself.  I was so happy to say 'au revoir' to that entire experience.  These days, I'm feeling pretty darn good.

When are you due?

Mid-October.

Are you moving back to Canada?

No, much to my mother's chagrin.

Will you give birth in Norway or Canada?

I'm happy to be giving birth in Norway.  Norway is a very family-centric society and the system for pregnancy & birth reflects that.  It's also less medical here which aligns a little more with my own personal beliefs.  My care thus far has been really great.  I love my midwife, I feel well cared for and comfortable.  It also helps that this is my first time around the block - I don't have any expectations as to how things 'should' go so I'm not focussed on the differences.

Will your baby have a Norwegian passport?

No.  While he will be born in Stavanger, he does not meet the criteria for Norwegian citizenship.  We'll apply for a Canadian passport as soon as he arrives.

He? Does that mean you know it's a boy?

Yes! He's a he!

Will your parents come over to help out after the birth?

No, I don't think so.  I'm ok with that.  I've always been pretty independent and I like to have the space and time to figure things out on my own.  In fact, most of my friends that have given birth abroad speak of it as a really special time as a couple and family.  I look forward to that.  However, our parents will be very anxious to meet their first grandson (they both have one granddaughter.)  If we take too long to get a passport and board a flight to Canada, they might just show up on the doorstep.


Am I missing anything? Any other general questions?  I won't guarantee to answer them (you wouldn't believe the amount of weirdly personal questions people will come out with) but you can try!


And thank you to all of you who left 'Congratulations' on Instagram - one of the most unexpected but loveliest things has been feeling the excitement of others on this big transition for us.

38 comments:

  1. Congratulations!! I hope the rest of your pregnancy will be smooth sailing! :)

    I'm not one for big announcements either. I prefer word to spread the old-fashioned way. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. YAY congratulations! glad you're feeling better - everyone seems to have horror stories about the first trimester, so I'm trying to figure out how I can get pregnant (when we're ready) and then just skip to week 13. do you think that's possible? haha :)

    I have a question, though just yell at me if it's too invasive: will Joe get to take advantage of Norwegian paternity/family leave laws, or does he have to stick to Canadian ones because his company is Canadian? (That being asked, I have no idea how it works in Canada. I bet it's much more understanding than in the US!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good question Betsy.

      In short - no. And unfortunately, his company is American. He has been told that he gets 0 days of paternity although he can ask his supervisor for a few days :| I've been composing an angry letter ever since.

      Also, please let me know if you find a way to skip to week 13 - should we have more than one child, I'd be very interested in jumping right to the second trimester ;)

      Delete
    2. on behalf of America, I apologize.

      Delete
  3. I totally understand the decision to announce your pregnancy quietly. I'm also not surprised that you're receiving nosy questions. I've been married ten weeks now, and way too many people have asked us when we'll have kids. Um, none of your damn business. When we do decide to have kids, I also want to wait fairly long before telling anyone except our parents, and I'm not sure I want to do some big crazy announcement for it either. Unless The Lonely Island comes out with a video about pregnancy... That is how I announced my marriage on my blog...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My favourite (side eye) personal questions thus far have been: 'Were you trying?' and 'Are you happy?'

      I still haven't done the big Facebook announcement. Maybe after the dust settles from this one but who knows - I'm happy not doing one at all.

      And Félicitations on your marriage!

      Delete
  4. Also, I forgot the most important word:

    FELICITATIONS!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Congrats again!!! And I love that he's due mid-October, my birthday is October 15th :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Casey!

      I have a close friend with a birthday on the 16th - he'll be in good company :)

      Delete
  6. Ahhh! Congratulations Jay! When you mentioned a big surprise on Twitter last week I guessed either a new assignment for Joe OR a baby on the way. I'm happy to hear you two will be in Norway for the birth to take advantage of the great family services available there. Excited to follow your journey as you start a family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Cynthia! I'm pretty happy to be entering this journey here in Norway!

      Delete
  7. Wow, I need to get back on instagram more! Congratulations Jay, all best for this new chapter ahead!

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. http://anewlifeinnorway.wordpress.com/2012/01/19/pregnant-in-norway-dont-forget-the-freebies/

    There you got a few tips of freebies when the baby arrives :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry - we are well aware (and appreciative) of what we do get!

      Delete
  10. Congratulations again! You wouldn't believe the smile that spread across my face when I saw this on instagram. And it's a HE! So exciting - can't wait to hear more about your newest journey in Norway :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw thanks Jenna! Yes, it's a HE! I had a suspicion he was going to be a he but it was confirmed last week - I immediately placed an online order for a few cute things to pick up while in Canada ;)

      Delete
  11. Congratulations Jay! So very exciting for you guys. Glad to hear you're feeling better and I hope the next 15-20 weeks is all smooth sailing.

    ReplyDelete
  12. congrats on your pregnancy, very exciting! I know what you mean about wanting to share the happy news but not wanting to do a big announcement. look forward to reading about your experience in Norway :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you :) We are definitely excited but loved taking our time to share the news.

      Delete
  13. Congratulations Jay and husband, a real blessing! I have loved reading your blog, and I wish you all the best in this new experience!

    ReplyDelete
  14. So happy for you two! You're going to be the raddest parents.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I can relate to almost everything you said! I felt shy about a big attention getting announcement too, although it seems like at some point one must put it out there. And while I live close to family and have lots of willing friends nearby, I still prefer to figure things out on my own, without the help of family or friends. With all of life's challenges, be it caring for my newborn or opening tight jar lid, I think to myself "how would I handle this if I were completely single and alone? Well then, that's what I should do."

    I'd love to hear about Norway's more natural childbirth practices, as compared to what we do here in North America. I'm curious about what's considered best in another culture, as I am somewhat skeptical of the heavily medicated and assisted births we seem to have here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am also skeptical of all of the interventions used in North America and while I'm grateful for medical advancements, I wonder if we left behind some things that were perhaps better.
      I'll definitely pull together my experiences here in a few posts. So far, it seems to me that Norway has been straddling the old and the new which seems like a nice balance to me.

      Delete
  16. Congratulations Jay! Super news indeed. (and great you get to take advantage of Norway's birthing system and practices). The second twenty weeks are ALWAYS better than the first. Wonderful news.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Omg congrats, Jay, this is so exciting! I follow you on instagram but somehow missed your announcement! All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh wow, congratulations! :) That is so beyond exciting! I didn't follow you on Instagram but I definitelyyyyy do now! I would love to hear about the Norwegian system! I'm thinking of moving over there (for good) in the next couple of years :) You guys are going to be the best parents!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jay! congratulations!! so very happy for you three. and so glad you feel so comfortable with your midwife and the process, I bet it eases nerves. sending lots of good thoughts. i have 2 other friends who announced they're due in october, so im going to add you to our excitement list ;)

    ReplyDelete
  20. I haven't read anyone's blog for a month so had to jump on after I got your email today and see if you posted here. My fav photo of you yet - congrats!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. You are glowing! Congratulations, beautiful xo

    ReplyDelete

I love comments! Thanks for taking the time to leave one!

These days, I'm replying to comments directly in the comment feed. Check back!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
by mlekoshi