A Friend Come & Gone

I felt a bit of anxiety the month leading up to Jeanie's arrival in Norway.  She was spending quite a bit of money, flying all the way from Western Canada and using her much-needed and appreciated Easter vacation to visit us and none of that was lost on me.  I wanted her to really enjoy the trip and Norway and that led to a little bit of pressure to make sure the experience was a good one.

Stavanger is a small city and I was concerned that we might find ourselves bored.  We planned 4 days away North of Stavanger over Easter, arranged a second car to allow us freedom to head out of the city during the week while Joe was at work and I started a list of possible activities and day trips that I thought we might enjoy.  Even so, I worried that it might not be enough for my well-travelled friend.

Funny enough, we weren't bored at all.  We visited museums, wandered the cobblestone streets downtown, chatted over lattes and chocolate, ate dinners out and cooked at home, browsed the shops and spent many hours on my terrace reading and talking.  In fact, we never once used the second car because we were easily occupied with what was accessible without it and looking back on the list I had prepared in advance, we hardly even touched on all that we could do in the Stavanger region.  In the end, it was a lesson learned; one doesn't need a big city to find interesting cultural experiences and activities for tourists.

Jeanie departed on Saturday and it's back to regular life for Joe and I.  I was a little sad to say goodbye to my friend but after having met on 3 different continents, it's got me thinking... where to next?

Visitors

When we first announced that we were moving abroad, friends, family members and even people who didn't particularly fit into either category told us they 'would definitely be coming to visit us.'  In the beginning, this excited us.  The idea of welcoming people you care about into your new foreign home is exhilarating.  We'd picture where we'd take them and what we'd do together and longed to show them our life abroad in person instead of through distant skype calls, emails and blogging.  Then we waited - we waited for the trip planning that never came.

Many of the declarations to visit were empty promises but even those that were serious about it would often come to say, "I looked at flights.  Do you know how expensive it is to fly there?" and from that we'd know; it wasn't happening.  Of course, not everyone makes travel a priority in their life like we do and not everyone can afford a trip overseas but we had so hoped to welcome someone... anyone really.

Gabon was a very difficult sell to a lot of people.  The flights were a few thousand dollars, there were high risk vaccines involved and the visa process was long, expensive and arduous.  On top of this, it's just not a destination that is set up to welcome tourists.  I was really disappointed - while the process would be difficult, our life there was so very different from anything most people experience and I thought it would be fascinating for others to see and us to watch it unfold.  But, we understood.  Twenty four months later and we didn't welcome a single person.

When we announced that we were moving to Norway, the 'we're definitely going to visit' started flooding in again but we knew better this time.  When the 'did you know that it costs like a thousand dollars to fly there?' started popping up, we'd smile and nod.  (Although this one still amazes me - what do people think it's going to cost to fly across the world?)  Obviously, Norway was going to be an easier destination to commit to visit but it's still a commitment and an expense.

Then, something started happening.

To our utter disbelief, people started booking flights.  I'm not sure if it's the pictures I posted of my terrace overlooking the fjord, or perhaps it was our scenic Sunday drives or maybe Joe and I raving about how gorgeous this country is at every chance we could but people started booking flights!

First, back in September while we were still living in our temporary apartment, Joe's friend Kellen popped over for a few days while he was touring around Europe.  We hardly knew Stavanger at that point but we welcomed him into our home, made him climb a mountain and bring us duty free beer yet he seemed to enjoyed it.

Next, my good friend Jeanie (whom you've met here, here and here on this blog) booked her Easter break in Norway and I'm so, so excited about the week and a half that we'll get to spend together.  The last we saw each other was in Singapore where she was teaching but she has since relocated back to Canada.  I've been composing a list of potential things to do and sights to see and I can't wait to catch up in person!

Just last week, my parents booked their flights for a 2 week Norwegian getaway this summer and it means so much to us!  It'll be their first time outside of North America (they've visited the US and Mexico several times) and they'll get to see Stavanger at it's best - full of cruise ships and tourists and long days.

And finally, another one of my closest friends is seriously considering a trip over this fall.  (No pressure but I'm sure once she sees the amazing time every one else had, she'll be on her way!)

By the end our our first year in Norway, we'll have welcomed guests 3 separate times - that is 300% more than we welcomed in our 2 years in Gabon.  There's something incredibly validating about showing those you care about your life and your home and we so appreciate the efforts and investments people are making - we promise, it'll be worth it!

The PWC

I remember when I first moved to Gabon, I had heard about this women's group and I thought it sounded lame.  I suppose I was being a bit of a snob and figured that all they probably did was knit and play bridge.  (By the way, there's nothing wrong with knitting or playing bridge but it's just not for me.)  In any case, I had no intention of joining such a group.

About a month later, I had yet to meet a single person.  I had been in contact with another English speaker and after a coffee one morning, she asked if I wanted to tag a long the following week to a sewing morning with the ladies group.  This was exactly what I was afraid of but the idea of getting out of that terrible hotel room beside the stinky zoo for a morning was enough to make me agree.  I don't sew (actually, I still don't) yet I ended up really enjoying myself that morning.  I connected with a few other women, we laughed about our situation, I got answers to all sorts of questions I was trying to figure out and I began to feel like I could actually live in Gabon.  After all, all these other women were doing it too.

Joe and I at the PWC Gala in Port Gentil, 2011

The PWC originally formed as the Petroleum Wive's Club in a variety of locations all over the world in the late 50's early 60's.  It was directed at women who followed their husbands around the oil industry and gave them a community of women to connect to as they settled into new homes.  Most of the PWC groups now welcome any women, oil or not, but their purpose is still the same.

When I arrived in Stavanger, I reached out to the PWC again as it had done me quite well in Port Gentil.  Each group is a little different but they generally have a variety of activities you can choose to take part in.  Movie mornings, book clubs, jewelry making, volunteering, conversations in the local language, crafts, coffees, you name it, they probably have it.  You are never obligated to attend anything but the goal of the club is to help women connect with each other.

The likelihood of me joining such a group in Canada is slim to none but when you're in a brand new country with no friends, one often does things they wouldn't normally do and the PWC has been great at helping me to make a friend or 2.  I was worried about knitting and playing bridge and I did nothing of the sort (instead I played mahjong and went to Wednesday morning sewing) but I know I wouldn't have survived Gabon without the weekly events and the camaraderie.

It's certainly worth looking into should you find yourself in a new place.

The Art of Making Friends

Sunset in our neighbourhood

When we're young, we tend to make friends quite easily.  Our biggest commitment is school and let's face it, a lot of school is about social interaction.  As we get older, it starts to get a little more difficult. We have spouses and commitments and that takes away time from our friendships.  Some of our best friends move away or we move and things change.

I grew up in the same town and went to school with the same people from kindergarten through graduation.  It was impossible not to know everyone in town.  Upon graduation, I chose to go to a university that my friends weren't going to but I lived in residence and made some really great friends - in fact, some of my best friends (including my husband.)  Then we all moved away to pursue our careers. I started in another small town and after awhile, made a few friends at the school I was teaching at and as I was feeling comfortable there, the decision was made to move 7 hours North to be with Joe.  Again, I had to make all new friends.  With each move, it got a little harder.  The older I got, the more commitments I had and the same went for potential peers.  I also became a little pickier about my friends - I wanted people I connected with, who had similar interests, someone that I could hold conversations with and feel like I could be myself.

And then we moved to Gabon.

It took me about a month before I met my first English speaking friend in Port Gentil.  The next week, she took me to a group event and slowly but surely, friendships started forming.  Port Gentil is small and while the expat community is pretty large, by the end, I felt like I knew or knew of most of the other women in town.  The majority of us didn't work and had nothing but time on our hands to have coffee, go to the beach, and plan soirées.  I made some pretty unlikely friends in Gabon - people I would never imagine myself connecting with on many levels - but we needed each other.  Gabon was hard on all of us and having people that actually understood all that we were going through was essential.

Now, we're in Norway and I find myself wanting to connect with other people - to make some friends.  It's a bit more difficult here.  Some of the women work and there are loads of things to do in town from shopping to yoga to language classes.  I don't have a job that connects me with other people and I don't have children that will make friends so that I can be friends with their parents.  It's solely up to me.

This week I decided to put myself out there.  I went to a movie with the women's group, I did the field trip to Stavanger Glassblåseri, I sent emails about yoga classes and book clubs all in the name of making friends.  It takes a lot of work to connect with other people when we don't have forced interaction and unfortunately, I don't think I'm going to make any friends having a latte on my terrace.

Eventually, it will happen but it's going to take some of effort.

Where have you had the most success making friends?


{Loved this article on making friends as an adult}

Busy

a park near the centre of Brussels

It's been an extremely busy week +.

:: We returned from a fantastic trip to Belgium ::

:: We welcomed our very first guest to Norway. ::

:: We hiked to Preikestolen and still can't get over the entire experience (nor can my legs.) ::

:: Joe's sister gave birth to a gorgeous little girl, Gabrielle. ::

:: Someone decided to rent our temporary apartment a little ahead of our scheduled move meaning we'll be moving to our new home this weekend! (Yippee!!!) ::

While I originally was looking forward to a quiet weekend, Joe and I will be packing our suitcases and moving but we're ecstatic to be doing it!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend!

Preikestolen

Joe and I have been meaning to hike Preikestolen since we first arrived in Stavanger so when a friend from home decided to visit and the weather looked promising, it seemed there was no better time.

Preikestolen or Pulpit Rock is a massive cliff that towers over the Lysefjord and it is this region's most visited site.  While only about 25 km from Stavanger, it is about an hours car & ferry ride to the base.  Once at the base, it's a 3.8 km hike to the cliff.

 

 

While it's not considered a very difficult hike in Norwegian standards, the terrain is challenging.  Rocks and boulders form the paths and at times, it's a fairly steep climb jumping from one slippery rock to another.

After 1 hour and 45 minutes of solid hiking/climbing my legs were shaking and my stomach growling but when we rounded the last corner (which was hugging the cliffside and shuffling along a skinny ledge) we immediately knew it was worth it.  The adrenaline rush having conquered the climb paired with the sheer beauty of everything around me had me in complete awe.  It was one of those rare moments where you look around and think, "I can't believe I'm here.  I can't believe this exists" and you can do nothing but stare in wonder.

The below photos are completely unedited.

 

 

 

That's me - looking down all 604 metres (1982) feet.

In the words of our guest, "You know it's good when it's even better in person than it is in the professional photos."

(And good enough to get us through the 3.8 km hike down.)

A Trip to Belgium

via

We're heading to to Brussels, Belgium mid-week.

It feels like we've been planning this trip for ages.  As soon as there was an inkling we might be moving to Europe, we started researching a long weekend trip to see an F1 race.  (My husband is an avid fan and watches every race yet has never seen one in person.  We missed both the Spain & Singapore races by less than a week.)  A couple of Joe's old university roommates and good friends of ours are also flying across the pond to join us.

Friends, beer, cars, races, Europe = a recipe for success if you ask me!

(At least for the men but I'm a bit excited to cheer on my boy, Lewis, too!)

Have you ever visited Brussels?  Any tips?

Our Wedding: The Guest Book

One of my favourite elements of our wedding was our unique guest book.

Our guests chose a year (or several years), left a note, and sealed the envelope for us to open on our future anniversary.

Above photos by Sharon Litchfield Photography

After our wedding, I packed those cards around with me in my suitcase from Canada to Gabon and now, to Norway and I anxiously awaited the opportunity to finally begin opening them.

Monday night, after Joe and I returned from dinner, it was time.  We sat down across from one another and each picked a card.  We made a guess as to who we thought it would be from, opened it and read it aloud.  It was so nice to read the sweet words from our friends and family and perhaps, it was even sweeter being so far away from all of them.

I vividly remember joining a table of my friends at some point in the night and they were laughing hysterically.  Apparently, we have a 'special' card to look forward to on our 50th anniversary.

(I'm not going to lie - I've thought about steaming open that envelope on a few occasions but have held back thus far.  I can't guarantee I won't do it in the future though...)


Absurd, funny, or thoughtful, we'll be looking forward to opening those cards every July 16th for years to come.

One Year

One year ago today, Joe and I were married (again) in front of our closest friends and family and it was without a doubt, the best day of our lives.  

In honour of our anniversary, I thought I'd share our wedding with you this week.  (I can't believe I haven't done that yet!)

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For those of you who are new around here, you may not know that Joe and I were actually married in Gabon.  (You can read about it here.)  When we did it, we assumed it wouldn't actually be legal anywhere outside of Gabon when in fact, it was.  While that wedding was certainly memorable, it wasn't exactly what we pictured and we knew that we wanted to be able to share the day with our friends and family.

Planning a wedding is hard and planning one from Africa, with a terrible internet connection and a 7 hour time difference, was bound to be impossible.  The first thing I did was contact Jennifer Bergman Weddings, we set up a skype date and the rest was history.  Jennifer was amazing and hiring her was the best decision I've ever made.  Because I wasn't working, I had tons of time to peruse wedding blogs and compile ideas to send to Jennifer and she basically made it all happen.

Joe & I really wanted the wedding to reflect us: our tastes, our personalities and our relationship and we weren't afraid to bend tradition.  Our must haves were:

**When Joe and I began talking about our wedding years before, we had always talked about having in a restaurant - somewhere that had it's own atmosphere, somewhere that we didn't have to 'fill.'**

**We wanted to keep our wedding small.  Both of us feel more comfortable in small, intimate groups and we knew we wouldn't feel any different at our wedding.  Of course, we wanted those closest to us present and in the end, we had 85 guests.**

**We wanted our guests to have the easiest weekend possible.  Having the ceremony head directly into the reception to avoid downtime, booking hotels within walking distance of our venue, great entertainment, delicious food and an open bar were all very important to us.**

**While we respect tradition, we didn't feel the need to stick with things if they didn't make sense for us.  We eliminated the cake (we'd rather have apple crisp,) we didn't want a ton of speeches nor a traditional MC and we wanted to keep the wedding party small (we both know how much work it is to be in a wedding party and we wanted our friends to be able to show up and enjoy themselves without having to do a ton of work.)**

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With that in mind, our Canadian wedding day went like this:


We started with a first look...

Did our portraits and family photos

And then the ceremony

And directly into a champagne reception and cocktail hour while the room was prepared for dinner

And finally, dinner, a couple of speeches and the party!

We had the most amazing dueling pianists who completely 'made' the party!

All photos are by Sharon Litchfield Photography

Joe and I had the time of our lives and when we stumbled home at 4 in the morning, we were so happy with how everything went.  It was most definitely the best day of our lives.

Later in the week, I'll get into the details but today...

I want to wish my husband a very happy first anniversary (for the second time - how lucky am I to celebrate 2 wedding anniversaries every year!)  I love the life that we're creating together and I'm so proud to call you my husband!

29

Last weekend, I turned 29.

Funny - I don't feel 29 at all.  When someone says they're 25, I think we're the same age.

Young at heart I suppose.

This was the first year that Joe and I have spent my birthday together since 2005.  The past 2 years, Joe's been in Gabon and I've been in Canada.  Before that, he in Houston, me in Canada and before that, a 7 hour drive between our respective cities.

I don't really make a big deal out of birthdays but it was really nice to finally spend the day together.  We relaxed all day as we had plans with friends that evening.  They came around for a bottle of champagne (or 2) poolside before dinner and then back to the pool afterwards for more drinks.  The men went for a 1 am swim, we chatted, laughed, drank too much, played a board game and ended off the night with a Stanley Cup game on tv.  

 Funglish (I won)

My friends gave me a painting from a local artist who paints on a metal canvas.

I crawled into bed at 5:30 am.

The next day I was abruptly reminded that I am in fact 29 and not 18.

{Expatriated} My Friend Jeanie

Sometimes I get the impression that people think we are crazy for leaving all that we are familiar with for a life abroad but we aren't the only ones who have chosen this lifestyle.  In fact, there are a lot of us and many of us blog about it.  Expatriated is a series to introduce you to other expat bloggers.

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If you have been around this blog for awhile, you met my friend Jeanie last year.  Jeanie is a real-life friend of mine (as opposed to those I've met in blogland) and she is one of the coolest people I know.  I have envied her jet-setting lifestyle in Asia the last 2 years and I was so happy that we got to visit her in her adopted home.  In the past couple of years she has visited Thailand, Bhutan, China, Cambodia, Indonesia, Sri Lanka, The Philippines, Australia, New Zealand and Hong Kong just to name a few and while I'm slowly trying to convert her to my kind of traveling (the kind that uses suitcases with wheels) she is adventurous and much braver than I will ever be.

So, meet Jeanie (if you haven't already!)

Where are you from and where do you live now?

I grew up on a farm outside a tiny town in Alberta, Canada.  This town itself has a name although it cannot boast about stop lights, fast food restaurants, street names or two lanes of traffic.  Cleardale, Alberta may not have a lot of things but it does have my heart!  I currently live in Singapore, Singapore.  It's a country, a city of five million and an island just off the tip of the Peninsular Malaysia.

How did you end up in Singapore and what inspired you to make the move?

I'm a teacher.  I'm an adventurist (as long as it doesn't involve me getting hurt in anyway.)  I'm addicted to travel.  I's got the wander lust.  I can't stop myself...I just do these things!

What is the best part of living overseas?

Travel.  Full stop.  In the last two years I have almost doubled the countries that I have been to in my life.  It is especially easy to travel in South East Asia from Singapore.  Changi International Airport is a twenty minute cab ride from my condo and I can literally reach ten different countries within a four  hour flight.  Thailand for the weekend.  Hong Kong for a conference.  Got a few extra days?  Go to Bali!

What do you miss most about home (besides friends & family?)

I miss the comfort foods of home.

Beef stew, twizzlers, cheezies and my Dad's gluten free waffles.

Mmmm...turkey with all the trimmings!

Jello.

Bud Light Lime (don't judge me!)

Clamato (I know you feel my love here Jay)

STEAK

Baked Potatoes with sour cream

What was the most difficult thing to adjust to in Singapore?

1.  The HEAT!  Going from a subarctic climate to a tropical steam bath was a bit hard to take.

2.  Finding new friends in a city with a huge expat community wasn't as easy as I thought it would be.  I was pretty lonely and homesick for the first couple of months.

3.  I really missed (and still miss) my car.

4.  Fresh air!  I love the crisp feel of a spring breeze.  A refreshing gust in Singapore usually means you have walked past 7-11 and you catch a drift from the air con!

Any funny 'whoopsies' while adjusting to your new life?

I hopped in a taxi during my first week and said, "Take me to IKEA!"  The Singaporean accent pronounces it more like Icky-yah, so the poor guy had no idea what I was talking about.  By the time I got there (45 minutes and 35$ later) he dropped off in the middle of what looked to be the busiest IKEA in the world.  There were literally thousands of people.  I ended up buying coasters and an iron; I was so overwhelmed with the people, the noise, the loooooong line ups, the exchange rate and the lack of swedish meatballs.  I thought IKEA would be a safe and familiar place to purchase a few household necessities.  Wrong.  The whole trip cost me about 100$ in taxi fares and four hours of my life.

Saving graces?

My condo pool, nuff said.

What is the biggest lesson you've learned from your time in Singapore?

I've realized how much I love and care about my family.  Although, I also have a new found independence as well (imagine that...me...more independent?  I know my Mother is laughing right now.)  It's like being far away makes me appreciate people at home more, but I also know I can lead a fulfilling life abroad.  It's a very strange dichotomy to be faced with.  I struggle with feeling elated about it...and then guilty.

If you had the chance to move elsewhere in the world, where would you go and why?

Jeez, these questions are hard.  I'm kind of a sucker for English speaking nations...so that cuts down my choices a lot.  Sydney?  New York City?  Hong Kong?  Those are all cities that while visiting I thought to myself "I could live here!"

Any advice for the newly expatriated?

Hang in there, the first 6 months are the worst!

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Thank you so much Jeanie!

Jeanie is leaving Singapore this year and after spending a few weeks in Australia, will be returning home to Canada.  I'm trying to convince her that there are plenty of teaching jobs at International Schools in Europe - I'd love to have her closer.  (Good friends are hard to come by and she's one of the best!)  

You can check out some of Jeanie's travels here.