Settled

Monday 19 November 2012

On our Sunday walk to Vaulen Beach
Instagram: cjstjohn

There are several different theories that propose stages of a new expatriation.  Looking back on our time in Gabon, I feel like the stages were quite pronounced and occasionally extreme.  We were adjusting our way of life in almost every aspect.  Our move to Norway was a little different.  Instead of being so focused on the contrasts to Canada, we were revelling in the similarities; things we had so missed in Port Gentil.

In both cases, we experienced a honeymoon period, typical to almost every expatriation.  In Gabon, I'm certain our honeymoon period began when it started to snow and dip below 0 in Canada and we were laughing it up on the beach.  In Norway, the honeymoon started the minute we landed as we dined on Thai, drove on paved roads, browsed the shops and planned weekends away all over Europe.  The honeymoon is all about the excitement of a new home.

I realised this past week that I think we're over the honeymoon in Stavanger.  This isn't to say we've come crashing down and are fraught with problems but we're settled.  We have normal day to day routines, we generally know what to expect and how things work and we're sleeping in on weekends instead of rushing out the door to explore.  While we're still smitten with our home, it's not new anymore.  We're comfortable, happy and settled.

That's the thing with expat life; we have adventures and travels but it's also just plain, old life.  

24 comments:

  1. Beautiful photo! I'm glad to hear things are getting comfortable-that can be difficult in a new country eh?! I look forward to next year when I can plan trips over Europe!

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    1. Oh the honeymoon period is fun but it's nice to be settled too!

      You'll be be back on this roller coaster soon enough!

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  2. You are so right. Its fun, exciting and adventurous but you still live a normal day to day life (cooking, errands, banks..etc)! Great photo!

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  3. I loved this piece. People back home always think we lead such exciting lives (I like to convince myself that we do) but in reality, it's very...normal. I do always love the honeymoon phase though, where EVERYTHING is exciting and new.

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    1. Oh, the honeymoon is so fun and I'll admit, I'm a bit sad to see it go but it's also comforting to feel settled!

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  4. So true! I think it took me about 3 months to feel settled when were in Stellenbosch and probably about 6 in Jo'burg since it's so different and huge! But I couldn't agree with you more, what people often don't realise is that eventually the expat life turns into just plain old everyday life too! Love this post :)

    xxx
    Jenna

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  5. Stunning picture!!

    I envy your honeymoon period. I arrived in the UAE three months pregnant with our first baby. I was so worried about all the baby-related stuff that I just wasn't seeking adventure at the time. Everything felt stressful.

    I guess we're having the honeymoon period in reverse. As we've started to settle into a routine and am more comfortable with the environment we're bringing our little one home to (due in 4 weeks!!! AHHH!!), my sense of adventure is starting to come back.

    http://wilsonfamilyproject.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks Myrna!

      I think we had a mini-honeymoon at the beginning of Gabon but the real honeymoon came much later - after the "What the heck did we get ourselves into?" stage ;)

      I'm glad you are settled in now and ready for the baby! Best wishes over the next few weeks!

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  6. What a beautiful picture! I have friends in Stavanger and they are struggling to really enjoy it there. I hope the opposite is for you two.

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  7. this is so true. the honeymoon stage is always the best stage but then again i think the "plain old life" time is just as great when you actually start to think about it and realize "how cool is it that i'm living a temporary "plain old life" in X country?... hope you're still enjoying your time there!

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    1. Definitely still enjoying our time here!

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  8. Beautiful photo! Great setting! It's perfect!
    jennybodell.blogspot.com

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  9. That's so interesting you say that - I had a Skype call with one of my best friends in Dublin yesterday and we were talking about the expat life and the honeymoon phase of living in a new city.

    I'm still in mine and she's far out of hers, but something she told me that really resonated with me was that her departure from the honeymoon phase brought her to something so much better. The excitement of living in Dublin turned into an ongoing-but-slightly-more-subdued excitement of being able to call Dublin her home, which sounds somewhat like 'the plain old life' you wrote about.

    Even when I visited her a little over a year ago, we didn't do many touristy things because she was over it, but I didn't mind at all because I much rather wanted to experience the city the way she typically was at that point in her life. I think the plain old life and the accompanying feelings of happiness and a sense of being settled might just be one of the greater parts of being an expat. So glad to hear you and Joe have reached that point :)

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  10. i love reading about other expats, though our situation is certainly different since i live where my husband is from. but i think it took me about 3 years to feel at home, and the honeymoon phase was over very quickly! on the bright side, norway looks stunning!

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  11. I remember this moment VERY well! All of a sudden I stopped noticing things aimed at tourists, and started knowing the names of the baristas at my local coffee shop :)

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  12. oh how wonderful! glad that you're feeling nice and settled

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  13. this is so true! i never really think of living in the UK as living the "expat" life, because it just feels like real life. even more so now that i am stuck in sydney and feel like this is no longer where my life is anymore (temporarily anyway). it's a funny feeling getting so used to a place that previously felt so foreign!

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  14. We've recently moved from Virginia to Georgia (so nothing to extreme!) and I'm longing to feel that "settled" feeling. Things are wonderful + we love our new area, but the feeling of being settled in on place is something we haven't had in a while - I can't wait for that! New to your blog and newly following :) xoxo, eliza

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  15. While I definitely remember a few bits of that honeymoon phase from when I first moved to Germany, I think I was so stressed out about leaving my home that I missed out on most of that honeymoon part. It's a constant back and forth for me, sometimes in the same day. Sometimes I feel like I'm really getting there, and sometimes I want to scream. Little by little, I'm sure I'll really start feeling settled.

    Do you know InspiringTravellers.com? They're expats in Stavanger right now.

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    1. I do know of "Inspiring Travellers." Andrea and I have exchanged a few emails but we have yet to meet in person. I have offered up a bottle of wine though ;-)

      I think everyone copes with a move differently and I suppose I'm pretty easy going about it all which is surprising as I'm a ball of stress leading up to it. Our life in Gabon was all about peaks and valleys and we certainly had a lot of frustrations we'll never experience here which has made this move all the more easier!

      Best wishes as you continue to settle in to life in Germany.

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  16. So true - in the end its plain old life, just in a different place! :D I am well over the honeymoon phase already, but I still enjoy most of my days here in Melbourne. Actually I am falling more for the city every day! One year is already over, can you believe it? Time is flying!!!
    Kristina x

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  17. I would assume its somewhat of a relief though to feel that settled feeling after a while! I've not lived abroad, but having moved back and forth from LA, NY and SF so much over the past few years, I relish when I finally know where the grocery store is in my new neighborhood, and I know which dry cleaner is the cheapest, etc... Cheers to being home :)

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  18. totally right! there is a complete honeymoon period, but then life just becomes.. life! though when you're living in an awesome place, it does look/photograph all the prettier. ;)

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